My girlfriend likes to put weird scented oils on me before
we do it. She is sort of a hippy and so she has candles and other gypsy accoutrement.
Generally speaking, I always have a great time. It just bugs me a little bit
that she gets out the patchouli. I shower regularly, and I don't think it's
that I smell bad. I'm not sure what it is. I don't want to ruin the
relationship or anything, but how can I tell her to give the incense a break?
Should I just go with it? Do college girls grow out of this or can I expect to
one day be the co-owner of a wiccan candle shop?
Best,
Bedazzled and Bepatchoulied, Boulder CO
Dear Bedazzled,
One glance around a department store perfume counter will
affirm that the sense of smell seems to matter more to women. And if her scent
preferences are getting on your nerves, then try moving your amorous locations
to places where she doesn’t have access to her potions and powders. Mixing it
up is a good way to get out of smelling like a Phish concert without putting
the brakes on a good time. If you must confront her about the patchouli, as gentlemen, we recommend you wait until the last possible moment, when the two of you are at the point of no return in the evening. Then say, something like “enough with your damn hippie oils, woman,” but in such a way that it sounds like the impatience of animal lust speaking, rather than a man who doesn’t want to smell like a collectivist candle shop.
Either way, you’ve asserted yourself, and that’s what a gentleman does.
Smelling of Victory,
The Gentlemen
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