I recently spent the weekend with my mother-in-law and despite the fact that I have good job and support our family with 3 kids she gave us gas money. I own my own home and drive a new SUV. My wife gladly just sticks the money in her pocket and waves good bye. It makes me feel like a spare changer.How can I turn down gifts of cash from my mother-in-law?
Spent, Kansas City, MO
Dear Mr. Spent,
There are gifts in the world that you have to accept and their are gifts you can refuse. Unfortunately it is your relationship to the giver of the gift and not the gift itself that determines what is proper manners.
Money gifts often cause undue tribulation. Some people like to give gifts, would you rather have a gift card or, God forbid, an actual gift of a sweater or candle or something? If you were asking what to give to your son-in-law I would suggest cash is a fine gift.
But you aren't. And you have some issue with looking like a real adult, so if you must turn down the cash gift, you can. You just have to be upfront and clear. You can even take preventative action and declare that you will no longer be accepting cash gifts. However, whenever you take something away from an in-law/grandparent you need to give them another way to express their love. Tell them that of course they can put money into the kids' college fund.
You can't turn down a gift for your kids, no matter what it is.
As far as your wife putting the money quickly in her pocket, that sounds like a whole different problem. You should write back in with that one.
Cash Gifts Accepted,
The Gentlemen
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