Dear Gentlemen,There’s a guy in my circle of acquaintances who dealt me a quite un-gentlemanly slap in the face (metaphorical) about six months ago. He has since been smart enough to keep his distance from me. But now he's now edging closer to my circle of friends again, without issuing me any form of apology. I may even have to deal with him in a professional context soon.
I'm unsure of how to behave when I actually have to see this prick again (and I will). As a red-blooded, hot-headed male, my instinct would be to punch him in the guts. However, in this pasty, white-bread world we live in, such an act would be akin to career suicide and would make me look bad publicly. This is not the playground, after all. But I simply cannot brook the kind of offense he committed against me. I don't know what to do or how to deal with this situation.
Regards,
Red-Blooded in Rosemont
Dear Red-Blooded,
It sounds as
though you are in a state of war with this ungentlemanly rogue. But at the same
time, you must find a way to defeat him, while playing the innocent. You have
been provoked, and now you must provoke, without seeming to.
If you can’t avoid
him, then be cold to the rogue, while being warm to everyone else. When you
must meet with him, shake the hands of those around him, but not him.
Acknowledge those around him, but not him. Let others speak, but talk over him.
Either he will apologize, or you will have forced him to do the confronting, to
play the aggressor. You have power in social situations. You simply have to wield
it.
Wrathfully,
The Gentlemen
This is a tough one. It's like, you want to tread the line between being a pushover and being the Count of Monte Cristo. WTF did this guy do to you? I'd go back and examine the original slight. Was is really that bad? I say, above all, BE COOL. Do not let your anger get the best of you. If you get angry, you've lost. Sounds like you may someday find this guy sitting at your poker table, or sitting in the cubicle next to you. You'll have to be a man about it. All you can do is stand for your own principles and live your life the best way you can. Also, remember, you get to chose your friends.
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