Dear Gentlemen,
Lets talk texts. Do gentlemen send text messages to
ladies? If a gentleman does, does he match their stupid emoticons with ones of
his own? And what about their misplaced and overused exclamation marks? Does a
gentleman use some of his own? Doesn't that make him a total pussy?
Fuck you,
Tommy Text Too Much
Dear Mr. Text Too Much,
On the Hierarchy of Communication, especially
with women, texting is very near the bottom. A gentleman generally prefers
face-to-face communication, or failing that, the phone--they are clearer,
more-lasting ways to get your point across. But when a gentleman must text, he should text clearly, without degrading abbreviations.
Now the romantic aspect of your question only adds to its
difficulty. Every woman is different. Some women see modern wireless phones simply
as an easy way to convey and receive important information in a timely manner. There
are others, though, who see the phone as a way to instantly broadcast their
displeasure about every slightly less-than-favorable breeze that ruffles their
skirts. It’s important to figure out where the lady in question falls on that
spectrum.
As for exclamation points and emoticons—they fall under the Flower Rule. The short version of the Flower Rule is this: If
you always give flowers, she’ll stop being happy to receive them. So only
give flowers if you’re in trouble; If you feel like it’s been too long since
you gave them, or; If you want something. Same goes for exclamation points,
which are like flowers you bring home from the grocery store. And consider emoticons as the big bouquet
that she has to sign for.
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