We Should Hang Out Some Time

Dear Gentlemen,

I was recently checking my golf clubs at a hotel in Las Vegas when I was traveling for business. It just happened that as I was spelling my very unique last name for the bellman the valet supervisor interrupted to say that was his last name also. He asked my Dad's name and it turned out that we were first cousins. He knew my Dad very well too. It turns out that I knew his Dad, my Uncle Al, but had no idea who he was. At this point I was torn. Do I get his mobile number? Do I offer to meet up with him after he gets off his valet shift to hang out? Can he help me get some illicit substances to party with later? What connections in Vegas might this previously unknown first cousin be able to provide?

After pondering all this I decided to part ways saying only, “Well that's crazy, I'll let my Dad know we ran into each other.” After telling the story to a few people they acted very surprised that I didn't make more of an attempt to get to know this first cousin better. But I was there on business for just 2 days and didn't have a lot of free time. Should I feel guilty?

Yours in Confusion,

Dubious Cousin

Dear Dubious,

As a gentleman, it’s your right to not pursue any relationship that doesn’t interest you. That goes for cousins, old high school buddies, ex-girlfriends, or former co-workers.

If your cousin had sought to spend time with you and you blew him off, that would be one thing. But it sounds like you were both willing to leave your interaction at a brief encounter. So there’s nothing to feel bad about. And while a cousin has a legitimate claim on some small portion of your time, you certainly don’t have to feel bad for not offering it, especially if he doesn’t ask for it.

Guiltlessly,
The Gentlemen