I'm 32 and I have a 22 year old girlfriend. She's wonderful in every way. The only problem is, she wants to stay up until all hours of the morning having sex. While I don't exactly have a foot in the grave yet it's like, hey, I'm 32 and I need my sleep. How do I approach this situation tactfully, without turning her off to go find somebody else?
Gratefully,
Tapped-Out in Tacoma
Dear Tapped-Out,
Saying no to sex is never easy. Women tend to read a
great deal into a refusal of their wiles. If you say you are tired, you may not
be believed, and may be up all night—arguing.First off, don’t do anything rash. In time, you'll look back on these sleepless nights more fondly than the sleeplessness bothers you now. And remember that in most cases, the kind of amatory hyperactivity you describe slows down after the first year to eighteen months. You get used to each other, and to doing other things together.
But for now, you should start with scheduling. If you’re not living together, then try to schedule your dates for nights before days that aren’t especially early or especially taxing. Also, start the hanky panky earlier in the evening.
And if you do have to demur, wait until you’ve already done a respectable turn or two that night. Then slap your belly and joke “The old gray mare, she ain’t what she used to be.” And fall asleep immediately. If you turn down her favors and then go watch tv or do anything, it will likely be held against you.
May All Your Problems Be So Pleasant,
The Gentlemen
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