Other People's Office Romances

Dear G3nt,
It's clear that a few people that I manage in my office are either sleeping together or on the cusp thereof. It's also clear to their fellow colleagues. I don't typically frown upon office romances. But in this instance, she's a direct report to him.

I was hoping restraint was going to win out until one of them could transfer to another team but it seems like that's not going to happen. Evaluation time is forthcoming and I'm scared about what he's going to write about her teamwork and communication skills.

Do I let things play out naturally and let it be known that discretion is probably a good idea or really have a talk with him about managing his time and team with a little less TLC.

Thanks,
Workplace Killjoy

Dear Mr. Killjoy,

The key to a workplace romance is discretion. And sleeping with a direct report is a no-no, not just for gentlemen, but as a general principle. And if the gentleman in question lacks both common sense and discretion, then professional and in this case legal reasons, you must step in.

Keep the discussion professional, and talk to whoever is the senior person in the relationship, as they should know better. Let them know that you never wanted to have this discussion, that you didn’t try to learn about the office romance in question and you certainly didn’t want to have to discuss it with them. Let them know that, disciplinary matters aside, their inability to keep the romance quiet and private reflects poorly on both their interpersonal skills and self-control.

There are several problems with the situation, but the main one is that you’ve been forced to acknowledge and deal with it. You can’t, nor should you try to police the personal lives of the people you work with. You can, however, demand that they tone down their amorous behavior during working hours.

Professionally,
The Gentlemen