On Love and Flatulence

Dear Sir,

At what point in a relationship is it okay to fart or belch in the company of your partner?

Yours,
Gassy in Tallahassee

Dear Gassy,

One of the chief joys of intimacy for a gentleman is that it affords him the opportunity to let his guard down and relax. And sometimes, when a gentleman relaxes, he will release gas in a semi-voluntary manner.

When a man reaches that point of relaxation varies, depending on the relationship and the woman. So start small, with a belch, in private, after the evening’s festivities have concluded. Gauge her reaction and take it from there.

But be warned, like any pleasure, one can go to extremes. And a gentleman’s dubious tendency to celebrate such events, or to direct them mischievously toward a loved one should be done in moderation.

A gentleman must also remain mindful of the risks of cavalier behavior towards his own bodily discharges. By openly belching or farting, a gentleman may encourage his paramour to do the same, which can have an unfortunate effect on their attractiveness.

Redolently,

The Gentlemen