Dear Gentlemen,
I hang out with a girl that quit drinking. She comes out to the bars
sometimes, but she isn't too comfortable with it. We like to hang out
with each other and I like to go to the bars with other friends as
well.
I don't want to hurt her feelings about it. What is your advice?
B in KC
Dear B,
When a friend has stopped drinking you have to make the effort to go out someplace where you both do not drink. That can lead to some awkward, unlubricated socializing at art galleries, gardens, and parks. But just think how hard it is for them, and realize that if you want to be their friend you are going to have to help them quit drinking.
Think of your friend’s sobriety as an opportunity to expand your own routines to new leisure activities. And when you get together with the friend and your drinking buddies choose places that are easier on non-drinkers, like a Royals game or a bar with a bacci court, hell, go bowling.
When you’re at a regular bar with her, don’t call attention to her non-drinking. She chose to come to the bar; she knows what is going to happen there. Just have a good time and remember that it is never cool just to sit around and talk about getting drunk and reminisce about other times you got drunk.
When a friend has stopped drinking you have to make the effort to go out someplace where you both do not drink. That can lead to some awkward, unlubricated socializing at art galleries, gardens, and parks. But just think how hard it is for them, and realize that if you want to be their friend you are going to have to help them quit drinking.
Think of your friend’s sobriety as an opportunity to expand your own routines to new leisure activities. And when you get together with the friend and your drinking buddies choose places that are easier on non-drinkers, like a Royals game or a bar with a bacci court, hell, go bowling.
When you’re at a regular bar with her, don’t call attention to her non-drinking. She chose to come to the bar; she knows what is going to happen there. Just have a good time and remember that it is never cool just to sit around and talk about getting drunk and reminisce about other times you got drunk.
Best,
The Gentlemen
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