My Eyes Are up Here

Dear Sir,
How does one pursue a relationship with a girl who was originally a booty text?

Cordially,
Mr. Second Night Stand

Dear Mr. Second Night,

There was once a song in which the male singer pled for information as to how one might make two lovers out of friends. But here in the third millennium, you are asking the opposite. This is more relationship advice than advice on gentlemanly behavior. But wading into deep water is often asked of a gentleman, so here goes.

It’s understandable in this age of cell phones, emails, shortened messages and general dehumanization that you may have forgotten how to have a relationship with a woman. So let's just go over the basics quick. First, when a gentleman is with a woman, he treats her like she is the only woman in his life. Second, a gentleman talks to the woman in his life. Face-to-face is best, then over the phone and lastly by electronic communication, which offers the greatest amount of risks and the shallowest and most-fleeting satisfactions.

So moving on from the booty text starts with a relatively sober face-to-face conversation. See her in the daylight, in a situation where sexual congress is unlikely. Do as ladies have done for centuries, and stalemate your mutual lust long enough that she must engage you intellectually, and possibly learn to like and trust you. The traditional courtship rituals are an obvious and underused tactic to achieve this end. So try a real date, with flowers, going someplace she wants to go, and not getting too drunk.

The final piece of advice for the date is that you don't make your lady feel bad about herself. I don't know your lady friend, but it is often the case that the booty text doesn’t raise her opinion of herself or of you. So know that you’re starting in the hole. And step up your efforts at enjoyable conversation and mutual understanding accordingly.

Sincerely,

The Gentlemen