Dancing When You’d Rather Not

Dear Gentlemen,

What is a gentleman to do when his date, wife or girlfriend insists on dancing at a wedding, and he either doesn’t know how to dance or have any inclination, and thinks dancing makes him look like a nimrod?

Regards,

The Happy Wallflower

Dear Wallflower,

Dance, even if you don’t know how. You will look foolish. Socially, that’s part of the point. But after a minute, you will see that you’re not the most foolish-looking one on the floor. After two minutes, you may even enjoy it.

After five minutes, if you still don’t like it, you will have done the required amount of dancing and you can retire to the sidelines to talk and drink with other gentlemen whose consorts have likely formed one of those women-dancing ovals that forms at most weddings.

You’ll get credit from everyone for being a good sport, and you won’t have to hear from your ladyfriend about how you never dance with her. No matter how much you dislike dancing, you save time and trouble by doing a song-and-a-half turn on the floor.

Gracefully,

The Gentlemen